Telephony Services Chapter Two
Now one would have thought, that I would have gained some valuable experience having dealt with Telefonica and having a little more knowledge than a complete novice, about the weird way that they do business. Well actually no, it seems I learnt nothing, or if I did then they moved the goal posts again.
I eventually moved from the house with the radio phone and no chance of a dedicated land line, and moved into another house in the locality which had a phone, yep you guessed a radio phone !
There had been much talk in the local bars and shops, that Telefonica would be putting in land lines throughout the area, and we all watched as telephone poles were placed in the streets. So much excitement had not been experienced in such a long time.
Then the first line was installed and it was in my street. I telephoned Telefonica and asked if I could order a phone. They asked for my address which I duly gave and the answer was swift and cutting....No. I said why no my neighbour has a phone, the nice lady at telefonica with advanced Janet and John English told me there were no lines in the area. I looked out of my window and said "but there are I can see a telephone line to my neighbours house". Nope, she was not convinced and asked me for his telephone number.
Thwarted again, but not for long, I told her that I would find out and ring her back. I think I must have waited about 2 weeks before I could locate my neighbours as they had sneaked back to the UK for a holiday. I caught up with them and got their telephone number and with this in my hot little hand phoned Telefonica again. I asked the same question and got the same answers, but this time when she asked for my neighbours telephone number I had her, the feeling was wonderful, but it only lasted a second. After a brief silence and that mind numbing 'hold' music she returned and told me No. Shocked I asked why No ? She told me there were no telephone poles near my house. Now in saying this to me, she did not realise that I am standing looking out my window with two poles in view, one of which was directly outside my house. I explained this to her and she asked me what number was on the pole. I ran outside located the numbers on both poles and rushed back to give her this informaiton. Again I was placed on hold with that......er music again! Now I could be wrong but I really did feel that her next answer, gave her great pleasure, then again I could have been just a little paranoid. She told me that the exchange was not ready and that it would be after Christmas before I could have a line. Not wanting to leave this exchange without a small victory, I asked her to take my order and also an order for adsl. To my surprise she agreed.
I think I rang back every week leading up to Christmas only to be told that it would be after Christmas and my order was pending. Well this was a bit better than I had initially hoped for after our first exchange, so I remained hopeful.
Christmas day came and went with its usual flurry and boxing day sneaked in with a bang. The bang was my front door, on the other side were telefonica causing the bang. We emerged all three of us, bleary eyed well almost 3 of us. Small blonde child stuck her head out of her bedroom door, looking like a panda, then poked it back into her bedroom and went back to bed. God knows what the two engineers thought when they saw me, hair sticking up on end, in my most delightful fleece PJ's, giving them a look that would have curdled cream. Now imagine this, you have just been woken up, from a somewhat boozy sleep, it was Christmas day the day before and you have two Telefonica engineers who then proceeded to talk to you in Spanish at break neck speed, and all of this without a coffee. I managed to mumble something at them in spanish and asked them to speak more slowly. It seemed they had come to install my telephone......whoo hoo!!
Then there was a problem....they were viewing the radio phone that had long since been disconnected, and a big conversation took place between them, which involved a great deal of head scratching. This was not, in my opinion a good sign. My partner came back to join the conversation and brought with him much needed coffee. The two engineers then started to tell me what the problem was, whoosh was the sound that I heard as their conversation went over my head parting my hair on the way. Time for the fluent spanish speaker to earn her keep. I managed to rouse small blonde child but she was not happy at all. I explained to her we had a problem and they had a problem we just did not understand what the problem was and would she help. I am not sure but I think the engineers by this time were slightly afraid of this very strange English family. Clearly my apprearance had frightened them but small blonde child pushed them over the edge.
It appeared that they could not install the phone as they had no paperwork about the radio phone. They needed to know what number the radio phone had been. Well to the best of my knowledge the phone had been cut off many years previously and there was nothing in the house that gave me a clue. It seemed without the number of the old phone they would not be able to allocate a new number for the new phone. That was that and off they went.
In about April there was another knock at the door and a lady stood there with a package in her hand, which she gave to me. I had no idea who she was or where she had come from, and more to the point, no idea what was in the package. I opened it and there before me was the adsl modem ??? Well this just about added insult to injury so I phoned Telefonica. They had no idea who I was and had no record of an order placed for a telephone. Confused on the Costa Blanca then asked, if they had no record of the order why had they sent me an adsl modem?? They told me they had not sent me the modem, so again I explained that they had and I was looking at it as we spoke. I think they were more confused than I was. They offered to phone me back.
Two days later they did actually ring back, which was a result in itself. They told me that they would be installing my phone line and telephone within 10 days. Remember the earlier story, when I said to ask them which tuesday etc and what month and which year. These rules still apply, so I asked would this be ten days from today. I got a very curt...Yes of course!
Ok so not being the most optomistic person on the planet I did think to myself, this is not going to happen in 10 days, I thought if prepared for the worst then nothing could surprise me. Wrong again! Later that afternoon yet another knock on the door, and there stood two Telefonica engineers !!!!! They had come to install my line and telephone, this time I was speechless. Within an hour they had installed the phone, in the correct place and it was working. Off they went and about 5 minutes later the phone rang it was Telefonica calling me to tell me my telephone number.
Now this sounds like a bit of a success story, but there is a twist in the tail. Despite the fact that the phone was in a working, and we had managed to install the modem, even though the instructions bore no resemblance to how it should have been installed, we could not get onto the internet. Four days we tried, we uninstalled the modem and installed it again and repeated this process over and over again, checked and rechecked. Eventually and reluctantly I phoned Telefonica again and explained the problem, they gave me the number for the technical dept who they assured me would be able to sort out the problem. Things seemed to be looking up, they actually had a technical dept. I phoned and asked if they spoke english they said not so I struggled through in my dreadful spanish and the up shot was the line had not been enabled for adsl......Doh!
My relationsip with Telefonica has blossomed over the years and now we fully understand what is required of the other. I make a request, they agree to my request, and they fail to deliver each time. I have come to the conclusion that a prerequisite to work for Telefonica is that you must be able to tell porkies consistently, and without any trace of guilt. I on the other hand have to be prepared to ring them without fail each week, be prepared to listen to porkies and recognise that nothing is going to change.
Telephony Services Chapter Three is without doubt my pièce de résistance, and is in the making now
I eventually moved from the house with the radio phone and no chance of a dedicated land line, and moved into another house in the locality which had a phone, yep you guessed a radio phone !
There had been much talk in the local bars and shops, that Telefonica would be putting in land lines throughout the area, and we all watched as telephone poles were placed in the streets. So much excitement had not been experienced in such a long time.
Then the first line was installed and it was in my street. I telephoned Telefonica and asked if I could order a phone. They asked for my address which I duly gave and the answer was swift and cutting....No. I said why no my neighbour has a phone, the nice lady at telefonica with advanced Janet and John English told me there were no lines in the area. I looked out of my window and said "but there are I can see a telephone line to my neighbours house". Nope, she was not convinced and asked me for his telephone number.
Thwarted again, but not for long, I told her that I would find out and ring her back. I think I must have waited about 2 weeks before I could locate my neighbours as they had sneaked back to the UK for a holiday. I caught up with them and got their telephone number and with this in my hot little hand phoned Telefonica again. I asked the same question and got the same answers, but this time when she asked for my neighbours telephone number I had her, the feeling was wonderful, but it only lasted a second. After a brief silence and that mind numbing 'hold' music she returned and told me No. Shocked I asked why No ? She told me there were no telephone poles near my house. Now in saying this to me, she did not realise that I am standing looking out my window with two poles in view, one of which was directly outside my house. I explained this to her and she asked me what number was on the pole. I ran outside located the numbers on both poles and rushed back to give her this informaiton. Again I was placed on hold with that......er music again! Now I could be wrong but I really did feel that her next answer, gave her great pleasure, then again I could have been just a little paranoid. She told me that the exchange was not ready and that it would be after Christmas before I could have a line. Not wanting to leave this exchange without a small victory, I asked her to take my order and also an order for adsl. To my surprise she agreed.
I think I rang back every week leading up to Christmas only to be told that it would be after Christmas and my order was pending. Well this was a bit better than I had initially hoped for after our first exchange, so I remained hopeful.
Christmas day came and went with its usual flurry and boxing day sneaked in with a bang. The bang was my front door, on the other side were telefonica causing the bang. We emerged all three of us, bleary eyed well almost 3 of us. Small blonde child stuck her head out of her bedroom door, looking like a panda, then poked it back into her bedroom and went back to bed. God knows what the two engineers thought when they saw me, hair sticking up on end, in my most delightful fleece PJ's, giving them a look that would have curdled cream. Now imagine this, you have just been woken up, from a somewhat boozy sleep, it was Christmas day the day before and you have two Telefonica engineers who then proceeded to talk to you in Spanish at break neck speed, and all of this without a coffee. I managed to mumble something at them in spanish and asked them to speak more slowly. It seemed they had come to install my telephone......whoo hoo!!
Then there was a problem....they were viewing the radio phone that had long since been disconnected, and a big conversation took place between them, which involved a great deal of head scratching. This was not, in my opinion a good sign. My partner came back to join the conversation and brought with him much needed coffee. The two engineers then started to tell me what the problem was, whoosh was the sound that I heard as their conversation went over my head parting my hair on the way. Time for the fluent spanish speaker to earn her keep. I managed to rouse small blonde child but she was not happy at all. I explained to her we had a problem and they had a problem we just did not understand what the problem was and would she help. I am not sure but I think the engineers by this time were slightly afraid of this very strange English family. Clearly my apprearance had frightened them but small blonde child pushed them over the edge.
It appeared that they could not install the phone as they had no paperwork about the radio phone. They needed to know what number the radio phone had been. Well to the best of my knowledge the phone had been cut off many years previously and there was nothing in the house that gave me a clue. It seemed without the number of the old phone they would not be able to allocate a new number for the new phone. That was that and off they went.
In about April there was another knock at the door and a lady stood there with a package in her hand, which she gave to me. I had no idea who she was or where she had come from, and more to the point, no idea what was in the package. I opened it and there before me was the adsl modem ??? Well this just about added insult to injury so I phoned Telefonica. They had no idea who I was and had no record of an order placed for a telephone. Confused on the Costa Blanca then asked, if they had no record of the order why had they sent me an adsl modem?? They told me they had not sent me the modem, so again I explained that they had and I was looking at it as we spoke. I think they were more confused than I was. They offered to phone me back.
Two days later they did actually ring back, which was a result in itself. They told me that they would be installing my phone line and telephone within 10 days. Remember the earlier story, when I said to ask them which tuesday etc and what month and which year. These rules still apply, so I asked would this be ten days from today. I got a very curt...Yes of course!
Ok so not being the most optomistic person on the planet I did think to myself, this is not going to happen in 10 days, I thought if prepared for the worst then nothing could surprise me. Wrong again! Later that afternoon yet another knock on the door, and there stood two Telefonica engineers !!!!! They had come to install my line and telephone, this time I was speechless. Within an hour they had installed the phone, in the correct place and it was working. Off they went and about 5 minutes later the phone rang it was Telefonica calling me to tell me my telephone number.
Now this sounds like a bit of a success story, but there is a twist in the tail. Despite the fact that the phone was in a working, and we had managed to install the modem, even though the instructions bore no resemblance to how it should have been installed, we could not get onto the internet. Four days we tried, we uninstalled the modem and installed it again and repeated this process over and over again, checked and rechecked. Eventually and reluctantly I phoned Telefonica again and explained the problem, they gave me the number for the technical dept who they assured me would be able to sort out the problem. Things seemed to be looking up, they actually had a technical dept. I phoned and asked if they spoke english they said not so I struggled through in my dreadful spanish and the up shot was the line had not been enabled for adsl......Doh!
My relationsip with Telefonica has blossomed over the years and now we fully understand what is required of the other. I make a request, they agree to my request, and they fail to deliver each time. I have come to the conclusion that a prerequisite to work for Telefonica is that you must be able to tell porkies consistently, and without any trace of guilt. I on the other hand have to be prepared to ring them without fail each week, be prepared to listen to porkies and recognise that nothing is going to change.
Telephony Services Chapter Three is without doubt my pièce de résistance, and is in the making now
posted by Atila The Nun | 11/23/2005
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